New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i dont even know how to be here
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
