like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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