careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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