Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I enjoy the company of your penis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
