Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
