i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
two words: eviction party
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
