We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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