Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
