I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
