i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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