some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
