Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
