If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
