Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
