I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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