Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
