So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
