you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He felt like a one man threesome
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
