last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
