I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
