You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
