So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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