And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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