I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
