god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
