He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
