4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
