Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
