There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
