and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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