just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
