Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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