kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
