Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw a hot homeless man
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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