Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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