I think im going to throw up on grandma
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
