i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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