Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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