After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
