well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
