I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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