Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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