We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
