HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
