So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
