Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
