So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
