Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
