I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
