that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
